Baby Talk

Me: Lucy, what does a cow say?

Lucy: THANK YOUUUUUUUU!!!

Hide your laptops

Kristin: JT, I really like that sweater...did you get it at the JoS.A Bank sale?

JT: Nope, I got it at Costco.

Kristin: Ooohhhh...I didn't know that Costco sold sweaters.

JT: Well there's a lot you don't know.

Not that funny but I hate to see this blog dead. Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Old Man River

Alabama vs. Ole Miss football game. 7:35 p.m. Bryant Denny Stadium.

Upon returning from the concession stand with oversized drink and overpriced hot dog.

Riley: "There is sour kraut in my pocket. HOW does that happen?"

JT: "Here, Riley. Happy birthday. Love, Denny Dog."

Go Bama. Beat the black bears.

Reader Discretion Advised

This is a post about potty-training and bodily functions. You've been warned.

So Yatesy the Lesser is not interested in going in the toilet. What she is interested in is being naked. So she was naked the other day when Mollye noticed that Yates had placed her hand (with thumb extended) on her behind, as if she was holding something in.

Mollye: Yates, do you have to poop?

Yatesy (shaking her head vigorously): No, tee-tee.

Mollye: I'm not sure that's what's going on here.

At this point Mollye took action. She lifted up Yates and placed her on the toilet. Yates, with sheer panic in her eyes as the event took place, looked up at Mollye and screamed:

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!"

You're leaving infancy forever, Yates. Fare thee well.

This post was gross. I'm grossed out. Sorry.

out of the mouths of babes

I was doing some anecdotal assessments (that's biz talk) the other day and while I was talking to two of my precious little ESL second graders the following interaction occurred.

They were getting familiar with the counting blocks that they use during math. Essentially there these cubes you can stick together that help you learn to add and divide. One little boy had managed to come into a mighty inheritance of counting blocks - which he promptly created a four desk long cross with. He then calls me over to admire his handiwork:

Little boy: I made the place that God died.

Another little boy (head immediately shoots up with fat crocodile tears welling in his eyes):

GOD ISN'T DEAD!

Amen and Hallelujah!

He doesn't even know about this blog.

July 11 in Gulf Shores.

Jimmy Buffett and Friends Concert on the Beach.

World Cup Final on the TV.

One man tries to have it all....and fails immediately.

Basically, Steve made it very clear to those of us riding with him to find a parking spot for the concert (me and four friends of friends) that if ANYONE mentioned ANYTHING about what was going on with the World Cup, he was going to flip out. Yeah, yeah, whatever Steve, we don't care.

Anyway, right when we pull up to a house and get out, he reminds us to help him shield himself from any news of Spain v. the Netherlands (he's a huge Dutch fan). Unfortunately, Steve overheard a guy in our group tell the guy whose house we were parking at that it was going to be a tie. They just didn't get the message, apparently.

So now Steve is mad that he heard that it was likely to go into a shoot-out. Keep in mind, this guy has already stepped in gum and had his McDonald's order messed up. As we walk down through the houses by the concert venue he's still complaining. But then, suddenly, there is one quiet moment and an unmistakeable scream of sports hysteria echoes from an anonymous house to the great outdoors, and to us:

"SPAIN WINS!"

It seems you can't always get what you want.

Run, Lola, Run.

JT, my sister and I were gathered around the den eating homemade peach ice cream at my aunt's house tonight. My aunt, Michelle, found an article in a runner's magazine about a new half marathon in Disney World in October. The interesting part about this half marathon is that it begins at 10 p.m. and once you complete the run, you and your friends are invited to a special Disney after party with free beer and wine.

Kallie decides she wants to run this half marathon, so it's decided that we'll all do this next year as a celebration of her 21st birthday. We begin to make various plans and talk about the many "what ifs" involved in this adventure. We discuss training programs and other 5K or 10K events in the Birmingham area we could do to train for this. Then we start talking about our favorite rides in Disney World and where we would stay. Some of the things we are saying actually have the potential to come true, but most of it is complete nonsense. 

At some point, Kallie says "Whoa, we gotta stop. We're being too unrealistic here"

And JT responds, "No offense, but we asked Kristin to run a half marathon, so it was pretty unrealistic from the beginning."

Sweet, guys. Thanks a lot. -KMac