Purified by Reverse Osmosis

I consider Maurizio my friend. When I graduate, he'll have taught me half of my required Italian minor classes, and by then I'll for sure have figured out which character from A Bug's Life he is kin to.

Normally, Italian class is excruciatingly painful. I just sit there and read my water bottle label, and usually spend about 20 minutes in the bathroom playing Brickbreaker on my phone. When I'm in class I pass the time observing the two people who sit next to me--we'll call them Phillipa and Stefano.

I've been trying to figure out for half the semester if Phillipa and Stefano are dating. Part of me thinks yes, this would be logical considering the way they act, but I truly believe in my heart that they are one of those couples that is not technically dating, but meet only during their many classes together and flirt shamelessly. The reason I think they are not together is that she sycophantly smiles and bats her eyes at everything he says (still trying to impress him), and they never touch. Also, their conversation revolves around what they do with their own respective friend groups. It's an interesting study in humanity.

Anyway, today two rich moments took place. Sometimes Maurizio will start spouting off Italian phrases molte veloce and we have absolutely no idea what he's trying to say. We strain our ears to catch a familiar word here and there, but most of the time this is fruitless. But today I could tell Stefano was into it, perhaps because I overheard Maurizio tell him to be more outspoken in class.

Maurizio: "bliemcci shsnienla abbotti que cheils lsija; eli; ei;lia;l "pesca" keinifno ello hihwwko.... (you get the idea)

Stefano: PESCA!! peach! peach!

Maurizio: No, come "pescare"

Stefano: TO FISH! TO FISH! (by now everyone is looking at him strangely)

Maurizio: Something about fish...

Stefano: (crazed look in his eye) FISH! FISH! FISHY! FISH-FOOD! No, wait, FISH-MONGER!!!!

Class: (stunned silence)

Phillipa: Fish-monger? You're an idiot.

I was so happy for Phillipa at that point. Way to be yourself and call him out, girlfriend!

Later on Maurizio did his thing where he starts asking us questions in Italian and we try to come up with some kind of answer. He asked this girl on the front row to repeat what he said as an acceptable answer, and she hopelessly announced, "I have no idea what that means or what is going on." He laughed and made her repeat the answer again. "Right," said she, "but I still don't understand a word." Then the little man laughed and said,

Maurizio: That is the beauty of foreign language. You can say things and you don't even understand what you're saying.

I think he might be missing the point.