i curse the day you were born

Contrary to what the crack taking writers of People and Us Magazine believe - the Sex and the City movie was incredible.  There were all the cinematic chick flick requirements.  Weddings, gays, Manolo Blahniks, love emails, crude yet appropriate female humor - just a cornucopia of female awesomeness really. 

HOWEVA, our theatric experience was amplified million fold by an element completely out of HBO's capable hands.  And that my friend was the Unidentified Lip Gloss Applying Boys who sat in front of us.  Make whatever insinuations about their preferences that you wish, but we're politically correct here at fogbogalert so we'll refrain. 

But we will not - CANNOT - refrain from bestowing upon you this rarest of rare dialogues exchanged between the aforementioned gentlemen. 

Fabulous #1: How many guys are in here, actually? Like for reals? 

Fabulous #2 (after making a grand gesturing of tallying the guys): I count 5. 

Fabulous #1: Honey, you can't count us I own curlers and a straightener. 

Now maybe this isn't funny to you or even mentionable.  But land o'goshen was it funny to us.  Perhaps this stems from mere incredulity.  Who knew that amidst the fratttattatty boys roaming the strip that there were these types of guys in Tuscaloosa.  As Kate just pointed out, one of them appeared to have collagen injections in his lips. And a mustache!  And less we also forget that one of them appeared to know verbatim the lyrics to "The Trolly Song" from Meet Me in St. Louis.  As Judy Garland belted out "Clang, clang, clang went the trolly" this boy joined her word for word in in the resounding "Ding, ding, ding went the bell." 

It should be noted though that mere flamboyancy does not excuse answering your phone during a critical point of relationship resolution.  

we love NY, 

yates, kates and sarah   

I am a creature of the night.

Yesterday Sarah and I found ourselves sitting at the end of a long table of ATOs and rushees. The scene: Pepito's. The mood: awkward. We had been lured to the rushee dinner with the promise of Newk's, and when the reality of Pepito's mediocre Mexican food was set before us, both of our evenings got a little bit worse. We both ordered the quesadilla from the grill (the only acceptable item on the menu) and waited for Armageddon. We weren't disappointed.

The food was nasty, and my risky choice of a mandarin Mexican soft drink didn't compliment the pungent bouquet of grease and foul chicken. Sarah shared my sentiments, which she vocalized at an unfortunate moment as the waiter was refilling her drink. She failed to notice him as she said,

"I feel that I've gotten this before here and it was much, much better than it is now..."

I gave her a look and the ice tinkling in her glass alerted her to the waiter's presence. Sarah looked at him and attempted a very disastrous recovery.

She glanced at the waiter and said, "...I mean...(longest pause ever)...yum."

It was obvious, it was awkward, and all could have been salvaged had she not enunciated the "Yum" so very much. "Yeeuhmm," was more like it. I nearly choked.

sex and the city premieres TONIGHT!

so hill and i go to watch bama play in the sec baseball tournament and there is a six year old little girl dressed in a cheerleading outfit who attaches herself to us. you can ask dan because he was there for the majority of the game and also experienced the terror of an entire nine innings spent with allie, that being the miniature cheerleader's name.  anyway, time passes and finally she asked me what my name was and i told her, and then she asked for hill's.  when i told her hill's name she was extremely confused so i attempted to explain that his name actually was hill, i.e. a mound of dirt kind of like a mini mountain.  she seemed slightly less perplexed and pretended to understand so we moved on.

flashforward (that's probably two words but i like it better as one) to a couple innings later when i ask allie if she remembers our names...

allie:  "yours is....(lots of intense thinking)....kate?"

kate:  "yes! now what about his" (pointing at hill)

allie:  (even more thinking but then i see the light bulb go off)"....MOUNTAIN!"

i laughed for five minutes.

from now on hill's new name is mountain.

spread the word.

that's all for now. sorry its been so long but i'm back in tuscaloosa so postage should hopefully increase

----kate

p.s.  everyone go see satc, there's bound to be blogging about it

back seat, windows up

So ok, I've gotten wind that the masses of adoring fans - and by this I mean Graham Gillespie - who stalk our blog are getting restless.   And dearest cherubic readers, do not think it is by choice that we are negligent of you.  It's just that nobody is around anybody else to quote them. 

HOWEVER, I did think the following quote from The Office was so funny I laughed until I began to violently hiccup. Then I got afraid I was going to die like Meredith Grey's step mom. And also, I am not Lexi Grey. 

But I digress, here's the quote: 

Andy: Hey, what are we doing? What's the game? I want in.

Jim: Oh, there's no game. We're just trying to get these chips for Karen.

Andy: Did you check the vending machine? 

Karen: Oh, the vending machines! How did we miss that? 

Jim: I have no idea. We went right for the copier.

Karen: Mmhm. 

Jim: And then we checked the fax machine. 

Karen: Yeah, nothing there. 

Andy (defiantly): Did you check your...butt?

Bahahaha. 

because Jim, Andy and Karen are my friends, 

sy

I'm living in Etna, CA...where the heck is that?

Just some updates from the Ranch for those who are interested...


Maury Carlisle hit a guy in the back with a rock while he was going to the bathroom in the woods and the guy peed all over himself...Maury later hit his head on a light fixture in the dining room.


I catch JT dancing by himself to music all the time (and I mean embarrassing dancing) so I have now decided to dance like a loser too. I also convinced a girl that JT and I make out a lot (which is clearly false). The poor girl was asking too many questions so I just started messing with her because I am a bia.

Some new phrases that I have heard out here, laughed hysterically at, and think our friends should adopt...
"I'm not enjoying you at all right now."- Ginger Anne Woodruff (and oddly enough, she knows Robby. Because I don't think there is a woman on this earth that Robby doesn't know)
"I'm as lost as an Easter egg." -Bruce Johnston (owner of JH Ranch)
And in a creepy, seductive voice, "Hey Hey." -Karis (who is engaged- I just love saying this to people. I may start doing this instead of grabbing everyone's butt, but I'm not sure yet).

Also, while I was chatting on my cellular phone with Charlie the other day, he told me to turn around....
"Why don't you come visit me in Etna?" -Me
"I am. Turn around."- Charlie
"Did you turn around?"-Charlie
"Yeah and you lied. You weren't there." -Me
"Long distance flinch."-Charlie

And we went bowling in Yreka last night. Yep that's right, a town called Yreka. We rented out the bowling alley and played Christian music the whole time. I love JH. Oh, and I made a guy spew his Mountain Dew all over the table yesterday. Apparently, I am the funniest person ever.

Well that's all folks. JT, Riley, and I are loving the Ranch (even though Riley is on maintenance and he is terrible at it) and I miss you guys like CRAZY! Love you. Write letters. Address is on facebook. -KMac

Some guy in Panama City pooped his pants.

I haven't seen my peeps in a while. Until then...

"A quote!!"

ttfn.
yates.

y'all don't wanna hear me, you just wanna dance

Now, I'm not against the slight fabrication of a novel in order to make it more applicable to the big screen.  I understand that verbatim transfer from novel to screen play is impossible.  That said, I did enjoy The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Capsian. As a Disney action adventure film.  However, as an adaptation of CS Lewis's second (technically third) installment of the Narnia series it it made me want to systematically send anthrax laden hate mail to anyone remotely involved with the project.  Normally I am completely averse to spoiling the endings of things for people (except for that one time when I ruined the end of The Sopranos for CJ which was a complete and total accident as I do not watch the show and mentioned it in passing because I had seen a segment about in on "The Soup"), however in this particular gem of a quote it is unavoidable. SO read at your own risk. 

Me: I mean there was absolutely no sexual tension and/or kissing between Caspian and Susan in the book!

Vince Andrews: Yeah I was just waiting for them to do it the whole time. 

In hindsight this is probably one of the funniest things I've ever heard.  Because clearly, and I feel Vince would agree with me, he was not waiting for them to do it.   This is a movie based around the concept of four adolescent British children being relocated to a mystical land in which the hero is a lion.  At no point is anyone "doing it." It was just one of those things you say to continue conversation. Everyone does it. 

vivé Aslan!

sy

My last meal at CPK until August

Dan and I were at California Pizza Kitchen today for lunch. And while the food was fabulous, the service was terrible today. Our waiter came to our table about once every 20 minutes, and once my pizza arrived I was without a blotting napkin and a refreshing coke for about 15 minutes. Needless to say, when my napkin and coke arrived, I was thrilled and dug right on into my pizza. I get the 5 cheese and fresh tomato pizza because I know I can expect greatness with every bite...

Except this time, I got a little more than I expected from my pizza. Apparently, when I took my first bite, I bit straight into a tomato. No harm no foul, right? Wrong. The tomato juice squirted up my nose and into my eye. I don't know why this happened, just a really ripe tomato I guess, but I do know that for the remainder of my meal, there was a tomato seed up my nose. All Dan could say was, "I saw that...who died tomato juice?"

Your blogger, KMac

the gobble(s)

another two part blog. this merits no explanation. all who were there will remember...

part 1:  cole's gobble

part 2:  anna's attempted gobble

deuce deuce holla (i hope sarah and robby notice this)

kate

Life [and blogging] is so unfair.

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but I am currently at a significant blogging disadvantage, because--to my knowledge--I am the only blogger separated from every other group member for the better part of the summer.  How can I blog about my funny friends if I'm not with them? Ladies and gents, we have on our hands a problem situation.  

Luckily, I've put some time into thinking about this.

The remedy shall be two-fold:

1.  I will blog incessantly when Yates and I get to Oxford to make up for lost time, quoting her on anything and everything remotely hilarious.

2.  Until then, your text messages better get funnier.

That's all for now, help a sista out and step up on the written communication.  Until then, I bid you adieu.  

When in Birmingham...

So, yeah. Tonight the Bham gang (Kate, Hill, Charlie, Catherine, John Michael, and myself) watched some television at Hill's house because we are cool. We were switching between the Hills and the Bachelor. Suddenly, Kate looks at John Michael and says...

"Did you get a hair cut?" -Kate

Yeah, I did...(cut off)" -JM

"Stop talking!" -Kate

[eruption of laughter from the Bham gang]

A few moments later...

"Sorry, I really do think your hair cut looks good." -Kate

"Yeah I know, it looks fantastic." -JM

I included this quote for a few reasons: 1) I've never heard people laugh that hard (well at least not since Yates' Yoda yes) 2) I've never heard Kate be that mean and hilarious before (and I was proud because I'm usually the one who is a bia) 3) I've never heard anyone speak so highly of their new hair cut--I mean he was complimenting his own hair.

So that is what is happening on our end. Just pure and simple hilarity. Miss everyone already. Peace out, KMac

move your body like a cyclone.

"What if I just pulled down my pants and mooned Sarah while she was skiing?"

- John Tyler Berney 

"You'd probably make the blog." 

- Kate Sparks

*My reasons for including this particular quotation are two fold: 1.) it is really funny 2.) it is indicative of the all consuming nature of this blog.  From now on the caliber of humor in this group will be linked with the blog.  In the future if you're even thinking about saying something funny ask yourself this: would it make the blog? Is it bloggable?  Does it have the essence of blog? 

If it doesn't then you're probably not funny. YA HEARD?

sloppy kisses, 

sy

Titanic on the Lake

So here's my first post.  Cut me a little slack because I've never done this before but here goes nothing...

ring my bell

Part 1

the scene:  Kate, Sarah Young, Debell, JT on the lake 

my roommate was floating in the water preparing to slalom (which she later did and she did it marvelously!) when she drifted into a cold spot and said, and i quote...

"Ooh cold spot! Really cold spot! Like I think I see Jack from the Titanic over here"

*you may only find hilarity in this if you're a girl but seeing as i feel like more girls than boys will check this blog anyway, i decided it was blog-worthy.

Part 2

yes I have two quotes to make up for my lack of funnyness.

after dinner at wild wings on wednesday for charlie's last meal, cole and vince asked to ride home with yates and kmac and hill and i in hill's car.  this was great except there wasn't enough room.  hence yates and i piled in the front passenger seat together. we thought nothing of this. however, after dropping the boys off, i get a call from cole who says, without even as much as a hello first..

"You know how I know you're gay?" I immediately knew what was coming and almost hung up then and there but of course I did not because I'm a good friend. "Because you and Yates stayed in the front seat together after we got out of the car when there were two free spots in the back."

hilarious....not.

first post complete

love kate 

I'm so going to beat Kmac by blogging first

Okay, it's 2:30 and Kmac and I are sitting in the Alpha Chi chapter room studying. We've been studying for so long. Our silent but deadly pattern was broken a minute ago by my giggling. I'm sorry, but that bumper sticker with the mad kid and the explanation "You scuffed my Nikes" gets me every time. I've got to give Anna props: that was the perfect first blog post. Seriously. The fact that the quote had to do with our blog made it even more appropriate. So let's get down to business:

Kmac has been studying for days. Poor thing, she has had three 8:00 exams this week. So we've been doing a lot of activities in silence, as per usual this week, in our room. I walked in from my shower to put on some music, when I notice a new playlist on my iTunes called "Kmac's Musac." I click on it to reveal two songs, "Rockin' the Suburbs" by Ben Folds and "This Side" by Nickel Creek. When she came in I broke our silence code and asked my usual question when dealing with her: "What the heck is that?" Kmac replied,

"I want you to make me a playlist with cool music on it....like Ryan Adams....[really long pause].....Ben Adams.......Is there a Ben Adams?"

I couldn't believe it. She's a history major; I think she meant John Adams or Sam Adams. The most embarrassing part? No, not the "Kmac's Musac" part. She thought that LFO sang "Rockin' the Suburbs."

Sorry this post is long. I've sacrificed beating Kmac for my long-winded fancies. We've just decided it should be immediate reactions only, but it's my first, so deal with it.

After 3 days of non-stop studying, I shall blog

When asked where he wanted to eat dessert, Charlie responded, "The Great American KMac Company."

The richness of that comment has won the prize of being the topic of my very first blog post. I feel that this blog will unite our friends over the long summer months when we are scattered across the United States and Europe. Or at least keep us laughing at each other.

Note: Sarah Young has decided that she doesn't need a nickname because, in fact, her name is her "nickname." I agree wholeheartedly, even though it doesn't really make sense.

Also, everyone write me letters this summer. 

Hope you enjoyed my first blog. Love, KMac

There is a Civil War General Named Gideon Pillow

"Anna, why haven't you written in the blog yet?  I have checked it five times today hoping..."

-Hill Sewell

I didn't want to be the first one to post.  I thought it would be Yates who would set the precedence. Yates takes the initiative, especially (as we all know) when blogs are involved.

But as I am supposed to be studying (suck it HY 315), my mind is naturally displaced from my history notes and has been entrapped by the contents of my computer and all the excitement that lies therein.  

But, back to the point: Hill has checked our blog for a new post FIVE times today.  I think this is: a) indicative of the WILD popularity our blog will soon achieve amongst our group of friends   b) telling of Hill's rampant internet addiction

I hope I didn't do this wrong.  I should have let Yates go first.