Last night was Kate's birthday dinner. The theme was picky eater. It was in fact, a Picky Eater Party. This PEP was the first surprise occasion that I have ever planned/been responsible for bringing the guest of honor to. However, it should be noted that Hill Sewell contributed largely to my efforts. Most notably by using our dinosaur cookie cutter to make lots of PB&J sandwiches. And also making balloon animals. Which he apparently learned how to do solely by aid of the internet. Thanks Al Gore!
But the party was great. It had all the necessarily elements of partyhood. Cake, hats, HelloKitty napkins and Kate being mercilessly pelted with goldfish in an attempt that one of those little aquarium crackers would go down her shirt. Which they did, mostly due to the fact that someone picked up the whole bowl and chucked them at her.
However, twas only after the party departed from 13th and Convent that things started to get quotable.
We arrived at Cobb Theatre and were immediately immersed in the bustling activity that is a midnight premier. If you've ever attended a midnight premier you know what I'm talking about. There's just something about the occasion that makes it perfectly condonable for a middle aged man to don full fledged Joker face paint (this information comes to me via Riley, my brother, who attended the 12:01 premier in Chattanooga ). Moviegoers are simply in their element at midnight premiers.
So we arrive at 11:15 and nestle comfortably into our seats in Theatre 15. Whilst waiting for the previews to begin Hill, Kate and I begin to discuss the movie Wanted, which we'd seen the night before. We discuss Angelina Jolie's tattoos, James McAvoy's muscles and Morgan Freeman's use of the f-word. But mostly, we pretend to shoot people in the theatre. More importantly, we're mimicking the film in that we are pretending to shoot people by curving bullets. It is in the midst of this, dedicated reader, that Kate looks at me in her wide-eyed newly minted twenty-year-old innocence and the following dialogue takes place:
Sarah: (mimes shooting a curved bullet at some football player Kate recognizes)
Hill: (follows suit and mimes the dispatch of another bullet)
Kate (turns to me and sweetly asks): Can bullets actually do that?
Sarah (lowers her weapon): Um, can bullets curve you mean?
Kate (eagerly and somewhat enthusiastically): Yeah!
Sarah and Hill: .....................No.
We then preceded to make a way bigger deal out of this than we normally would. But that's because we were bored and still had over thirty minutes before the movie started.
Fast forward to the previews.
Ominous music. Jennifer Connelly in some sort of leather bomber jacket and bluntly cut bangs. People wandering through misty forests. Jennifer Connolley's character has now been given clearance to something. She's told not to be afraid. Keanu Reeves is hooked up to electrodes while someone ... wait...
Unidentified Movie Attendee (incredulously exclaims): Keanu Reeves?!
Entire Theatre #15: (erupts in hysterical laughter)
Ah, midnight premier camaraderie.