Life is too short for serious

The following conversation occurred after expressing bitterness about being mocked and basically judged for choosing not to drink.

Catherine Shelton (the paraphrased version): I have this new theory on going to bars with a fake i.d. You know when middle schoolers try to sneak into a high school party...yeah same thing. It's NOT COOL.

Me (laughing hysterically): Yeah middle school called, they want their trick back!

Moral of the story: We believe that people should not be defined by their preference of alcohol. I'm not Kristin McDonald, the 21 year old female non-drinker. I'm sweet little KMac. Who cares if I don't drink, I dance like I'm drunk.

Get it, get it, get it, Girl. 

Purified by Reverse Osmosis

I consider Maurizio my friend. When I graduate, he'll have taught me half of my required Italian minor classes, and by then I'll for sure have figured out which character from A Bug's Life he is kin to.

Normally, Italian class is excruciatingly painful. I just sit there and read my water bottle label, and usually spend about 20 minutes in the bathroom playing Brickbreaker on my phone. When I'm in class I pass the time observing the two people who sit next to me--we'll call them Phillipa and Stefano.

I've been trying to figure out for half the semester if Phillipa and Stefano are dating. Part of me thinks yes, this would be logical considering the way they act, but I truly believe in my heart that they are one of those couples that is not technically dating, but meet only during their many classes together and flirt shamelessly. The reason I think they are not together is that she sycophantly smiles and bats her eyes at everything he says (still trying to impress him), and they never touch. Also, their conversation revolves around what they do with their own respective friend groups. It's an interesting study in humanity.

Anyway, today two rich moments took place. Sometimes Maurizio will start spouting off Italian phrases molte veloce and we have absolutely no idea what he's trying to say. We strain our ears to catch a familiar word here and there, but most of the time this is fruitless. But today I could tell Stefano was into it, perhaps because I overheard Maurizio tell him to be more outspoken in class.

Maurizio: "bliemcci shsnienla abbotti que cheils lsija; eli; ei;lia;l "pesca" keinifno ello hihwwko.... (you get the idea)

Stefano: PESCA!! peach! peach!

Maurizio: No, come "pescare"

Stefano: TO FISH! TO FISH! (by now everyone is looking at him strangely)

Maurizio: Something about fish...

Stefano: (crazed look in his eye) FISH! FISH! FISHY! FISH-FOOD! No, wait, FISH-MONGER!!!!

Class: (stunned silence)

Phillipa: Fish-monger? You're an idiot.

I was so happy for Phillipa at that point. Way to be yourself and call him out, girlfriend!

Later on Maurizio did his thing where he starts asking us questions in Italian and we try to come up with some kind of answer. He asked this girl on the front row to repeat what he said as an acceptable answer, and she hopelessly announced, "I have no idea what that means or what is going on." He laughed and made her repeat the answer again. "Right," said she, "but I still don't understand a word." Then the little man laughed and said,

Maurizio: That is the beauty of foreign language. You can say things and you don't even understand what you're saying.

I think he might be missing the point.

superstar, where you from how's it goin?

I know this is my third consecutive post but trust me YOU WANNA READ THIS.

Per usual, a group of gathered at the intersection of Convent and 13th (aka Hill, Graham and Robert's crib) to watch a slew of shows.  It was after enduring the painful portrayal of Claire Bennett by Hayden Panettiere on Heroes and laughing at the the Star Wars motifs on Big Bang Theory that it came time to watch How I Met Your Mother. 

We were all enraptured by Stella and Ted's marriage plans. I mean is she the one? I don't know because this is only the second episode I've ever seen. I hope she isn't because Sarah Chalke bothers me ever since the masterminds behind Scrubs decided to give Elliot a makeover mid- season. She was so much more endearing all awkward and without excess hair fringe.  They should probably fire all the other females on the show except for Allyson Hannigan because she was Willow on Buffy. And Buffy rulz. 

But anyway, the crux of the dilemma from last night's show was that Ted insisted on his ex Robin being present at the ceremony. Stella, his fiancee, was adamant however that having exes present at your wedding is painstakingly uncomfortable and should be avoided at all costs. 

And from this came the following remark: 

Hill Sewell: Aw man, that means I can't invite any of my friends to my wedding!

...And then...

Graham Gillespie: Don't worry Hill I'll come to your wedding. 

Hill Sewell: Not after last weekend you won't. 

Oh Hilly. You and your wild oats. 

hooray college!

sy

 

you can have whatever you like

Continuing my layover at procrastination station, I have decided to blog. This makes me a repeat offender for the week.  But dat's ok.

This week has been quite busy in the life of the Art and Sciences Ambassadors. Don't let Yates and her viral video campaign fool you.  Sure Capstone may bear the responsibility of giving tours to prospective students of promise, have to memorize unfathomable amounts of campus history, endure intense heat in poly-blended pantsuits and sacrifice innumerable hours of vacation and study time.

But we all know the Arts and Sciences Ambassadors are the ones who carry the real weight of the University's success. There's Arty Party. And we also have to pomp something for homecoming. And sell t-shirts. And there are meetings which Kristin and I may or may not arbitrarily attend. I also may occasionally COMPLETELY forget to be a member of this organization until I check my phone and think "why do I have two missed calls from Graham Gillespie OHCRAPWEHADAMEETINGTONIGHT." 

Clearly, the A&S Ambassadors need to be the ones telling you what Crimson is. 

And if the above criteria aren't enough to assure you of this than the following dialogue certainly will.  This past Tuesday night Kristin and I attended a dinner given in honor of a performance group in town to put on their show "Unless the Mind Catch Fire...".  Kristin and I opted to sit at the Wissinger table because it was the furthest removed from the door and we figured maybe nobody else would sit with us and we could eat all the fruit cups.  

This was not to be.  For not long after in flounced the titular Miss Donna Wissinger.  She was a flutist in the production.  Later on Dean Olin joined us.  DWiss was quite the free soul and after hearing about Kristin and I's studies and tentative career paths she somewhat dreamily remarked to Dean Olin that she wanted to date both of us.  Dean Olin has a doctorate in Math and most likely thought that Kristin and I's dreams of non-profit glory were not quite as romantic.

I severely digress. It was somewhere amongst all of this small talk that Kristin and DWiss had the following exchange. 

DWiss: Well I did a tour of Russia when it was still the USSR. And we went all over but at one point I was in Uzbekistan and I just was so not acclimated to it you know? 

Kristin: (politely nodding)

DWiss: And I was just so scared and closed off and I just kept thinking to myself I cannot get this. But then one day I just stepped back and thought to myself, I thought, you know what? The same culture that is in this place is being birthed in my very own cells. And I just got it all immediately.  You know I just felt a part of that place because it was within me and throughout me.

Kristin: Aw.

Now you tell me that A&S Ambassadors aren't the breadwinners of this institution. 

suzie halliday 4eva!

sy

 

I paid to climb a mountain: the trip of Apples to Apples

Fall Break 2008 was full of inspirational quotes, as per usual. Here are the ones I can remember and thought were notable enough to make the infamous blog.

"How does that spin your tired ferris wheel"- Cole Murphy

"Um, Cal you are cheesing big time."- Dan Almond

"Old Milge Bilge, the old book bear." -Dan Almond

"How does that float your tick."- Cole Murphy

There was also an incident with mispronouncing the word "graham crackers" that I didn't feel was appropriate for the G-rated blog.

I also have a Rosie story for everyone. Apparently, Rosie is on her last leg. Cole's mom was supposed to take Rosie to the vet this week, and no one was sure if she would survive. Cole called his mom to check in on how the visit to the vet went, and Cole's mom said the following:

"I had a close friend pass away this week, and I couldn't handle anything else. I didn't take Rosie to the vet. But she has been really chipper recently. She really rallied this week." -Mrs. Murphy

Way to go Rosie, you've lived to smell foul for another day.

And here is an on the road story about Fog bogs.

"They must know that Dan Almond is in the car. They can sense his presence."- Cole

Dan is clearly confused by this statement. He has just woken up from a captivating nippity nap.

"There was just a sign for a Fog advisory. They know you are here so they are giving out the Fog alert." -Cole

hop out the car and let casper drive

First of all, I was the one who Freudian slipped the graham cracker comment.  Mayhaps if you cross my palm with silver I shall recount you with it. Or get me Publix brand Halloween cookies. Because I consumed TEN of them en route to the mountains. 

Secondly, a quote.  We were all nestled around the table engaged in a hearty game of Apples to Apples.  Now, after what can only be described as an abysmal round of Battle of the Sexes, a fairly competitive bout of SceneIt (at least the second round was), a failed Boulderdash game and two go-rounds of Monopoly, it is somewhat needless to point out that the competitive fervor was at a fever pitch. 

This was not to Daniel Almond's advantage. Or was it? 

After several rounds of selectively matching nouns to adjectives Dan was not fairing too well.  Those around him had all amassed a small collection of coveted green cards.  Dan however, had one. 

It is under these conditions that the following conversation occurred: 

Kristin: OK, the adjective is Dramatic. 

Group: (lays down the card they feel incapsulates the adjective) 

Kristin: (after perusing all the candidates, which I cannot remember): I'm gonna go with Beauty and the Beast because it's pretty dramatic. 

Group (grumbles incessantly and begins to make a case for why this is obviously the most poorly chosen noun/adjective relationship in the history of Apples to Apples; I feel that it was Cole who spearheaded the objections)

Dan (in a barbaric yawp, while standing from his chair): BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IS A TIMELESS CLASSIC! NOW GIVE ME THAT CARD. 

Now go YouTube Ghost Riding.