Sunday, October 12, 2008

I paid to climb a mountain: the trip of Apples to Apples

Fall Break 2008 was full of inspirational quotes, as per usual. Here are the ones I can remember and thought were notable enough to make the infamous blog.

"How does that spin your tired ferris wheel"- Cole Murphy
"Um, Cal you are cheesing big time."- Dan Almond
"Old Milge Bilge, the old book bear." -Dan Almond
"How does that float your tick."- Cole Murphy

There was also an incident with mispronouncing the word "graham crackers" that I didn't feel was appropriate for the G-rated blog.

I also have a Rosie story for everyone. Apparently, Rosie is on her last leg. Cole's mom was supposed to take Rosie to the vet this week, and no one was sure if she would survive. Cole called his mom to check in on how the visit to the vet went, and Cole's mom said the following:

"I had a close friend pass away this week, and I couldn't handle anything else. I didn't take Rosie to the vet. But she has been really chipper recently. She really rallied this week." -Mrs. Murphy

Way to go Rosie, you've lived to smell foul for another day.

And here is an on the road story about Fog bogs.

"They must know that Dan Almond is in the car. They can sense his presence."- Cole
Dan is clearly confused by this statement. He has just woken up from a captivating nippity nap.
"There was just a sign for a Fog advisory. They know you are here so they are giving out the Fog alert." -Cole

Saturday, October 11, 2008

hop out the car and let casper drive

First of all, I was the one who Freudian slipped the graham cracker comment.  Mayhaps if you cross my palm with silver I shall recount you with it. Or get me Publix brand Halloween cookies. Because I consumed TEN of them en route to the mountains. 

Secondly, a quote.  We were all nestled around the table engaged in a hearty game of Apples to Apples.  Now, after what can only be described as an abysmal round of Battle of the Sexes, a fairly competitive bout of SceneIt (at least the second round was), a failed Boulderdash game and two go-rounds of Monopoly, it is somewhat needless to point out that the competitive fervor was at a fever pitch. 

This was not to Daniel Almond's advantage. Or was it? 

After several rounds of selectively matching nouns to adjectives Dan was not fairing too well.  Those around him had all amassed a small collection of coveted green cards.  Dan however, had one. 

It is under these conditions that the following conversation occurred: 

Kristin: OK, the adjective is Dramatic. 
Group: (lays down the card they feel incapsulates the adjective) 
Kristin: (after perusing all the candidates, which I cannot remember): I'm gonna go with Beauty and the Beast because it's pretty dramatic. 
Group (grumbles incessantly and begins to make a case for why this is obviously the most poorly chosen noun/adjective relationship in the history of Apples to Apples; I feel that it was Cole who spearheaded the objections)
Dan (in a barbaric yawp, while standing from his chair): BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IS A TIMELESS CLASSIC! NOW GIVE ME THAT CARD. 

Now go YouTube Ghost Riding.


Sunday, September 28, 2008

If at first you don't succeed...

The five contributors have breakfast together on Thursday mornings. Or at least we used to. You see, in the realization of a dream long deferred, Kmac rallied all of us around the idea of getting up at 6:30 in the morning once a week and socializing at Panera in Midtown. I applaud her for this much, certainly; it is no small feat to wake me up even a minute earlier than I have to for class (and multiply that by four).

Things started off well enough: the first few breakfasts were huge successes. Amid the expected grumbling and dirty looks slathered liberally among us was true camraderie, and I found myself really enjoying how these brief meetings (and bacon and strong coffee) kicked my day off right.

But this joy, 'twould not last. Our buoyant spirits dwindled, and by two weeks ago only Anna and I rallied enough to make it to the rendezvous. Then, last week, something epic happened.

The alarm roused me at 6:30. I inwardly cursed, then rolled out of bed and splashed water on my face before my body could protest. I walked into the room to start pulling on clothes, and there was Kmac's form, smashed into the tiniest ball imaginable, dead asleep on the block of wood that passes for our room bed. You should also know that the dirtiness of our sheets and pillows is legendary.

A warning light inside my head lit up. This situation didn't bode well for breakfast, but I was already alert, dang it, and I was set to do what it took to awaken Sleeping Beauty. Meagan, who had been up since 6, of course, was studying in the room and started shaking her head.

Meagan: I turned all the lights on earlier and she didn't budge.
Me: Oh, she'll budge. (Begins gently shaking Kmac's shoulder)
Kmac:
Me: (whispering like a guardian angel and scratching her back) Kmac, Kmac, Kmac.
Kmac:
Meagan: (louder) Kristin. Kristin. Yates, you're going to have to be vigorous.
Me: Okay, Kmac. Rise and shine. Up and at 'em, old feller. (placing a hand on her butt, which usually wakes her up)
Kmac: Uggghnn.
Me: She's waking up! Nope, okay, no, she's still asleep. How did she sleep twisted up in that ball?
Meagan: (yelling now) KRISTIN! IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFAST!!
Me: COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOO! (more and more flabbergasted, to the point where I'm making up a song and doing cheer-like dance)...
KMAC, KMAC. YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALL THERE.
WE ALL WANT YOU TO COME TO PANER-
A. WAKE UP, WAKE UP, SMACKERS RISE AND SHINE!
YOU'LL BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL AT YOUR DANCE AND MINE!
(really embarrassing, but consider my deteriorated mental state at waking up early, no coffee, and now faced with prospect of it all being for naught)

Kmac turned her head ever so slightly and opened one vicious eye, which peered at me with an other-worldly gleam.

Me: Kmac? KMAC! You're alive! Hey, friend, wanna get some breakfast?
Kmac: Yah.
Me: Okay, well, you realize you have to get up and put some clothes on, right?
Kmac: Nah. (shaking head)
Me: You have three minutes.
Kmac: Okay. (rolls over and goes back to sleep)

I texted the others and cancelled at this point, realizing that we were all miserable and tired and that the brutal, early morning shock that comes with girls' breakfast is not worth the fellowship, especially when we see each other practically everyday anyway.

And then I found four hundred dollars.

Monday, September 8, 2008

savage where the chorus at?

Yates arrived at Kate and I's apartment last night plagued by the proverbial "I'm hungry but I don't know what I want to eat" dilemma.  A preliminary sweep of our food stash was unsatisfactory and when coupled with Surin and Bento's unwillingness to extend their open hours to Sundays (we'll attribute this to their love for Jesus because, as Kristin pointed out, it's important to love Jesus) - Yates was swimming in a sea of nutritional drought (it's a paradox).  And then Hill threw the life preserver - PIZZA. 

Later on after our Papa John's 14" cheese had been delivered we found ourselves in need of a refreshment more of the liquid variety.  That is to say, we was thirsty.  So Hill, being the valiant, true and noble gentleman that he is, volunteered to go to the BP. Actually I verbally coerced him into it - but that's another blog entry entirely.  

Hill: What do you guys want?
Me (without hesitation): Dr. Pepper.
Yates: I brought some water so I'll probably stick with that.  
Hill: No really, what do you want?
Yates: No seriously, I'm fine with water.
Hill: Yates. What. Do. You. Want.
Yates (cheekily): Beer, ha!
Hill: I have my fake ID.
Yates (with mild dejection): Oh.
Hill: What do you want? 
Yates: My water.
Hill: What do you want?
Yates: Sprite. 

Heh. Yates and her inability to stand up to peer pressure. Chin the butter already.

23 flavors!
sy


Friday, September 5, 2008

The Crown of Jewels

Place: University of Alabama Career Center
Time: 4:00 pm

Robby awkwardly and sketchily walked through the glass doors of the Career Center for a scavenger hunt (business classes are REALLY tough). He notices me behind the desk, and we begin chatting. The conversation covers many topics, none of which we have time for right now. But Robby pulled a little "play on words" in the middle of our serious conversation that made me laugh out loud. 

We are discussing our love for Jesus. Its very important to both of us that everyone loves Jesus, because if you love Jesus, then you will go to heaven. I'm talking in typical JH fashion about the difference between a believer and a disciple. The following dialogue occurs:

"Believers and disciples are all saved. We are all going to heaven. Its just that some people will have more jewels in their crown." -KMac

"That's okay. I've had enough Juls, thanks." -Robby

Saturday, August 23, 2008

oh yates...

scene:  sarah's and my house for a heroes marathon

people: me, sarah, hill, robby, and yates

event: so we're all sitting there when yates's phone rings. it continues to ring and we ask yates if she's going to get it.  she doesn't know the number, and for those of you who don't know yates has an intense phobia of unknown numbers so of course she doesn't answer.  well, about five minutes later it rings again. same number. we ask, hey yates you want one of us to answer it for you?  no, she says, if it were important they would leave a message.  ten minutes later, phone rings again...you sure yates? you don't want robby or hill to answer it for you? no guys, she says, really it's okay.  another five minutes after this the phone rings again, for the FOURTH time...

(ring ring ring, yes the phone has been on loud the entire time and she can't silence it because then "they will know," we all turn to yates...)
yates:  "okay will one of ya'll answer it for me"
robby:  "here i got it yates..."
(on the phone)
robby: "wait pita pit? but yates you didn't order pita-"
yates:  "OH MY GOSH I FORGOT I ORDERED PITA PIT"

the poor poor pita pit man. but hey at his expense we get a great story for the blog.
we love you yates.

i'm not sure if i can convey how funny this actually was in words.
kate


Monday, August 4, 2008

People in Scotland eat blood. And sheep stomachs.

Anna has said and done some pretty priceless things on this trip. Unfortunately, it's hard to know when a quote or situation will translate well onto this blog. But here's one instance that I want to share with all.

For a little background, you should know that Anna, after finally tasting the bliss that is a freshly baked scone, has now become totally obsessed with them. She wants scones all the time, 24/7, talks about them unceasingly, and comments on every type and style of scone we find. Well, last weekend we journeyed to Ireland, and on a tour of the countryside stopped for tea and scones at a little shop.

These were Grade A scones, made even better by the rich clotted cream that was dollopped in plentiful amount on our plates. We praised and complemented them in every way possible; in fact, everything about the experience was perfect, except that someone had baked a few raisins into the scones, which we picked out before eating. During this process Anna raised her head, sighed soberly, looked at me like she was about to say something truly serious and/or important, and emitted this gem:

"I like my scones like I like my men. Without raisins."

The layers of this quote are manifold and very deep. I'll leave its interpretation up to you.