maybe i should just let this die

"is it so much to ask that i find someone to date

who doesn't totally annoy me?"

- sarah yates

this is a mass text: does anyone know where i am?

we were on our way back from the beach when the following exchange occurred. it was such an exchange that can only happen when one has been on the road for several hours, survived a rainstorm and is full of homemade barbeque:

me: can men get tattoos on their penis?

kristin (as nonchalantly and assuredly as could be): oh yeah.

i apologize to any parents and/or sensitive persons who read this blog. but not enough to have warned you before cause i just thought it was that funny.

sailor moon

with extraordinary swag

So I'm sitting in my Music & Activism class and we're about to have our discussion about contemporary Christian music movements.  Each discussion is lead by two students.  Now on this particular day the girl leading the discussion feels she should make this disclaimer: 

Margaret: I feel bad leading this discussion because I don't know much Christian music. Besides you know "hail Mary full of grace/smack the bitch in the face" by Notorious B.I.G.

word to your mother, 

sy

Sticky Red Bag-Lady Shoes

Here is something funny in and of itself...Graham Heard (the self proclaimed baller) gave Yates some dating advice. I mean, when was the last time anyone saw or talked to G Heard, much less got advice from him? Answer: Sarah Yates.

"What I wanna know, Yates, is who you're dating?" -G Heard

"The Cheese stands alone, my friend." -Yates

"Word of advice: If you ever want to get a boyfriend, the first step is to stop referring to yourself as "The Cheese." -G Heard

"Duly noted." -Yates

NEVER break up a girl fight. NEVER.

I agree with Youngblood, I think this should be revamped, and to bring it back old school I'll put in a bit of fun from the one and only Smack-a-lack. (By the way, it's my goal to keep morphing people's nicknames until no one ever can decipher who is who anymore and we all disappear into oblivion.)

Anyway,

So we all know that Kristin is feeling the pressure because Relay for Life is coming up. Last night she almost cracked, screaming in a staccato fashion:

Kristin: "Relay is ten days away. What can I do? I'll check the ten day forecast! Aha, here we go... (looking at me with somber eyes) ...because there will be tears if it cries."

Yes, yes, we all hope that Relay doesn't cry this year, either. Also, virtual blog flinch for writing "Go Rebels" a few posts/months ago on here. There's no escape.

Here's to believing our friends are like the ones on How I Met Your Mother!

ttfn
Yates

don't call it a comeback

I absolutely had to break the stony silence that is this blog in order to bring you these two gemstones.  Granted my reaction to them was heavily fueled by St. Patrick's Day sprinkle encrusted shamrock cookies. Like at least five of them. But like still.

After a drug dealer rolled up into Snow Hinton and effectively ruined what was sure to be an epic bout of playground games, a group o' peeps headed to the Katie's spacious Riverside abode. Once we got there we were greeted by Momma Kallam's brownies and the game Guesstures. Guesstures, for the game n00b, is a fast paced version of charades.  You align cards in order of simplest to hardest and then attempt to act them out successfully for your team.  The caveat is that the contraption you place the cards in is set to a timer causing the cards to drop (effectively nullifying them if your team not guessed them), at incremental periods. 

This was also the first night that Charles Edwards hung out with us, and while he is a newcomer I think we can all agree that we welcome with open arms anyone who has a starring role in the following scenario: 

Barrett (acting out a card, gets under the table)

Charles: HIROSHIMA!

I know right? Hilarious. 

However, this was to be merely the appetizer for the filet. It occured after Guesstures was abandoned in favor of a round of sudden death Taboo.  Taboo, again for the n00bs, is like CatchPhrase but with the exemption of specific words (i.e. the word "mustard" must be described without using "condiment" or "ketchup").  Team 1, consisting of Shane, Katie B, Dan and myself was in dire need for some points.  If you know how competitive Dan and I get in the pursuit of friendly game victory, you'll know that losing is not handled well.  And at this point we were. So this happened:

Katie B. (on her turn): Ok it's like something that has...

Shane: Seals!  Whales! Beavers!

Katie B.: No it's like a thing that...

Shane: Otters! Manatees!

Dan: WILL YOU STOP GUESSING SEA CRITTERS OVER THERE?!

sy

Let's just say we're not getting married tomorrow.

2:15 a.m.

Yates: Kmac, what you need to do is write a blog post.

Kmac: I can't. I can only write if I'm expired.

Or inspired.

2:45 a.m.

Kmac: I just thought of a rhyme about Cal and I posted it on his wall. Now I'm a little embarrassed.

Yates: What is it?

Kmac: "Cal is right, Cal is left, Cal is the best."

Yates: That's not a rhyme.

Kmac: Maybe it should've had another line?

Yates: Or maybe rhymed.

Kmac: Oh, it rhymed.

ben and i had the best weekend of our lives.

I'm sure you've heard it already.  The moaning and groaning that inevitably escapes from mine and Ben's mouths about the absurdity that was this weekend.  We may frown, furrow our brows, scowl, or throw our hands up in the air in a gesture that can only mean that the Greek system (and therefore, the earth) IS DOOMED.  

I don't know who reads this thing, so I'm going to have to omit some of the absolutely priceless gems from the weekend.  

But...just know, that as we were sitting in the back of some discussion making snide comments under our breaths, and as Ben Kallam was crying for help by attempting to slice his wrists with a handout about policies and procedures, he leaned over and whispered this confession to yours truly...

"Literally, the highlight of my day was taking a dump."

And there you have it.

Dinner with the Peanut Gallery

I'd say negligent is the word to describe everyone's participation in this blog. This is our original blog, full of laughter and jokes, and I'm going to keep it from dying.

We sit at dinner, the eight of us. Riley, Cam, Dan, Cole, Hill, Charlie, Yates, and myself. Small fights erupt among the boys: who is the bigger woman? who eats the slowest? who is balding? Nothing out of the ordinary. 

Then we get to the portion of the conversation where everyone pressures Yates into performing a ridiculous task. This time, it's eating a huge tomato. Yates says she will do it for $30 and Dan gives her 77 cents. Then Cole, apparently bored with the scenario, jabs the tomato onto a knife along with 2 other tomatoes, making a "mater kabob." 

Cole then shoves the mater kabob into Yates' mouth as she ducks. The sick nasty olive oil and cracker crumbs from the tomato are left as a greasy residue on Yates forehead and bangs. Yates headed the tomato. 

Yates then retaliates by knocking the contents of her cup over on Cole and Dan. Dan takes the hit and Cole screams, "How'd that feel Daniel? It knicked your knockers." 

No one knows what that means. Everyone got up and left. Lots of awkward laughing.