Let's just say we're not getting married tomorrow.

2:15 a.m.

Yates: Kmac, what you need to do is write a blog post.

Kmac: I can't. I can only write if I'm expired.

Or inspired.

2:45 a.m.

Kmac: I just thought of a rhyme about Cal and I posted it on his wall. Now I'm a little embarrassed.

Yates: What is it?

Kmac: "Cal is right, Cal is left, Cal is the best."

Yates: That's not a rhyme.

Kmac: Maybe it should've had another line?

Yates: Or maybe rhymed.

Kmac: Oh, it rhymed.

ben and i had the best weekend of our lives.

I'm sure you've heard it already.  The moaning and groaning that inevitably escapes from mine and Ben's mouths about the absurdity that was this weekend.  We may frown, furrow our brows, scowl, or throw our hands up in the air in a gesture that can only mean that the Greek system (and therefore, the earth) IS DOOMED.  

I don't know who reads this thing, so I'm going to have to omit some of the absolutely priceless gems from the weekend.  

But...just know, that as we were sitting in the back of some discussion making snide comments under our breaths, and as Ben Kallam was crying for help by attempting to slice his wrists with a handout about policies and procedures, he leaned over and whispered this confession to yours truly...

"Literally, the highlight of my day was taking a dump."

And there you have it.

Dinner with the Peanut Gallery

I'd say negligent is the word to describe everyone's participation in this blog. This is our original blog, full of laughter and jokes, and I'm going to keep it from dying.

We sit at dinner, the eight of us. Riley, Cam, Dan, Cole, Hill, Charlie, Yates, and myself. Small fights erupt among the boys: who is the bigger woman? who eats the slowest? who is balding? Nothing out of the ordinary. 

Then we get to the portion of the conversation where everyone pressures Yates into performing a ridiculous task. This time, it's eating a huge tomato. Yates says she will do it for $30 and Dan gives her 77 cents. Then Cole, apparently bored with the scenario, jabs the tomato onto a knife along with 2 other tomatoes, making a "mater kabob." 

Cole then shoves the mater kabob into Yates' mouth as she ducks. The sick nasty olive oil and cracker crumbs from the tomato are left as a greasy residue on Yates forehead and bangs. Yates headed the tomato. 

Yates then retaliates by knocking the contents of her cup over on Cole and Dan. Dan takes the hit and Cole screams, "How'd that feel Daniel? It knicked your knockers." 

No one knows what that means. Everyone got up and left. Lots of awkward laughing.